My 5 year old son will only play with toy guns, toy knives, and is always trying to get to the real knives. Why is he so fixated with these items?
You can check the answer of the people under the question at Quora “nerf gun knife“
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Written by: Reagan
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My 5 year old son will only play with toy guns, toy knives, and is always trying to get to the real knives. Why is he so fixated with these items?
You can check the answer of the people under the question at Quora “nerf gun knife“
About Reagan
My boys did too. When they were little I wouldn’t let them have toy guns, until the day I took them for a walk in the woods and every stick they picked up became a pretend gun.
I decided to roll with reality and let them have toy guns and knives. As they got older, they got knives and eventually, airsoft guns. By the time they were 14, the phase passed. I am happy to say they are now over 18, and show no signs of violence or collecting weapons.
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To start with, he is 5 years old. So there is not going to be a good reason what what he is fixated on at any time. He would probably get over it in a while and move on to play with other toys.
The important thing is he should not be able to access real knives, guns or any object that he can harm himself by. That is the adult’s responsibility.
Finally let’s not psychoanalyse kids. Let a child be a child. Full of mystery and potential.
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What is he doing with them? Is he attacking bad guys? That’s very typical. Kids have been playing with weapons ever since they were invented.
I think this is less likely, but it could also be he feels powerless. Guns and knives may represent power to him. Perhaps they get a big reaction out of people.
If so, try paying more attention to how life looks through his eyes. Does he feel he has little influence on what happens to him? If so, how can you give him more choice in his life? Give him as much choice as you can without compromising safety.
Help him play safely with real knives. Help him cut real things like food, wood, paper. Impress on him that you’ll help him but he must always have an adult with him.
Read books about superheroes who are powerful and help people.
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I am old. Many decades ago when I was 5 we routinely shot our friends with cap pistols, collected great armies of toy soldiers, had giant games of war where we subjected our buddies to death in hundreds of imaginative ways.
We were fascinated with guns, knives, jet planes and other implements of destruction.
Far be it from me to say whether that was a bad thing. Besides it is up to the parent.
My only point here is that – as you examine all the possible forms of mental illness and social aberration for your child – don’t totally discount the possibility that he is a normal 5-year-old kid.
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It is hard to say. I would never let my kids play with toy weapons. They need to that the real things are not toys. In addition,some kids when they are little tend to become obsessed with things and also at times they want the same food for a while. As for food that is normal. They do out grow those things. Now as for the Huns and knives I would try to take them away from him. Start with the guns then the knives. It is probably better since he has the propensity to obsess over things you may want to find healthier toys for him to play with. It may help if you take him out buy a new toy. But don’t tell him that you are taking the other toys away. He will not understand it. Peace
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My parents were concerned with me for the same reason. They would not let me have toy guns. Now that I have grown up (physically) I have no toy guns, I have real ones; and swords, axes, polearms.
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Because knives and guns are cool . Not to all children (certainly not to many girls in my experience), but to most boys, knives and guns are cool.
There’s probably something deep within the male psyche to do with weapons and self defence that draws us to them, but it manifests itself as ‘Cool! Explosions! Look at that missile launcher!’ etc.
My mum hated me liking guns and knives, but she didn’t stop me, and I played with cap guns and pretend swords like any other child, albeit I had to buy them with my own money…
In the end, I grew up and these things weren’t so interesting anymore, but I’ll still admit to seeing a jet fighter or a tank and thinking ‘awesome’. I can’t explain it, I guess guns and knives are just cool.
I suppose you can hope it is a phase, but otherwise I wouldn’t advise getting too fixated on him liking them. He probably likes trains, cars and planes too (or whatever else he’s interested in!), so maybe just try to gently steer him away from the knives and guns by providing equally interesting alternatives. You could also try what my mum did and just refuse to fund knife or gun based toys!
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Have you ever sat down with him and talked about what weapons/knives are for?? It would be very important to do. As it is not so bad that he is playing with them… IF he understands their use.
Let him experiance that knives are not always for hurting. When you are cooking have him help you. Give him a pumpkin carving knife and he can cut up some of the veggies. Then let him butter his own bread with a butter knife during dinner, and then at lunch have him make his own PB&J sandwich.
Get some picture books about police officers at the library. Then talk about what guns are for… and that guns are only used as a last resort.
Talk and read books about treating others the way he would want to be treated.
~ Not pointing his gun at someone if they say no.
~ Real guns and knives can really hurt people.
~ People that get hurt by guns and knives have to go to the hospital.
~ There are fun guns too (water). But even those he needs to not shoot water at anyone that says no.
This is an excellent time for conscience development.
If you have any hunters in the family, you can talk about how some people get their food by hunting. Or if you are against hunting, you can talk about that.
He needs your guidance and input. If you are going to allow him to play with certain toys that you are concerned about, then it would be important to be proactive and turn this into a learning experience for him.
Keep the real knives out of reach.
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Maybe he feels hungry and powerless. A weapon historically represents the power to hunt and kill food or acquire it by force from another. It could also be feelings of powerlessness for another reason. He is after all very much smaller than everyone with power, AKA adults. So maybe he wants to level the playing field by arming himself? Sort of like a weak person who perceives themselves as a target is more likely to try and get self-defense weapons like pepper spray.
I suggest finding a way to give him what he would take with his power in a consistent and sustainable manner. Precook and freeze some meals that you can teach him to microwave for himself. Get him a step ladder so he can reach the freezer, microwave and where-ever you keep the dishes. Canned food or store bought frozen meals might also work. Require him to eat with the family at mealtime. Make sure he always has leftovers or doesn’t want more before each meal is over. If he needs more later he can make it himself with the microwave.
Teach him to exercise, squats, sit-ups and pushups to build muscles. Don’t make him do very many though, 5 per day at his age is probably more than enough unless he wants to do more. He needs his baby fat to grow his brain. So don’t try and make him a muscle man or his brain will stay small. If he does get overweight or even obese though it doesn’t have to be bad. He can just do lots of sit-ups to get rid of all the visceral fat. Subcutaneous fat is the kind that grows his brain. So let him keep as much of that as possible. Let him eat as much as he wants. Only worry about his subcutaneous fat if it gets to the point of big flabby rolls or visceral (not subcutaneous) belly bulge. Any specific place that is too fat is the place to target with more muscle building. IE if he has rolls of fat on his legs then he needs more leg muscle underneath to firm it up, if it’s his belly that’s bulging out then more abdominal muscle is needed. Subcutaneous belly flab (at his age) is fine just make sure he does lots of sit-ups to get rid of all the visceral fat because that’s how it’s done. Don’t make him “cut-up” to show off his muscles like a bodybuilder though, they are just as good under the fat and he needs the fat. Getting him “cut-up” will psychologically damage him and will retard him mentally, at least to the point of reduced IQ and intelligence potential. He needs his baby-fat. Remember: brain growth > muscle growth.
Make him feel physically and mentally powerful without weapons.
Be there as his protector and self-defense so he doesn’t need weapons.
Consider getting him a cheap or used computer to play with, he’s old enough for some non-violent kids games already. He also needs something social to do.
Also a knife is a really important tool. Teaching him to use one responsibly will make him feel important. Get him a pair of work or garden gloves to protect his hands and teach him to whittle sticks or something under supervision. This could be fun to do together and could make him feel important.
Teach him that one day when he’s old enough you’ll give him a knife he can use by himself but that it shouldn’t be a weapon unless his life is in danger.
If he’s worried about self-defense teach him a little wrestling or something, just very gently. He might also be interested in martial arts but that doesn’t mean he needs to become a black-belt or even go to regular classes. He could also learn a little bit just on youtube or something. If he likes gymnastics, dancing, acrobatics, aerobics, calisthenics or one of many other similar things that’s fine instead. All those things can be great for self defense. I’d be more terrified of most male ballerinas (with the right mindset) then I would be of most black-belt martial artists in a fight. That’s just because most of those ballerinas have better bodies, strength, flexibility, endurance and agility than martial artists but mindset will also play a major role. If he doesn’t want to do anything like that that’s fine also but it might mean he’s hungry and trying to save energy. Archery is a really fun, low energy sport to think about for later but you might have to keep the arrows locked in a gun-safe at home for safety if you live in suburbs.
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T4A2A, Lynda.
I’m not a mental health professional.
Knowing nothing about you, nor your son, I feel the need to make a few comments.
First, this: “What” vs. “Why.” You’ll never know why, so don’t go there, and instead ask different questions.
Secondly, I’ve never been a parent, but I believe a parent’s role, in part, is establishing clear rules and boundaries. A child’s curiosity is normal. That he’s trying to get to the knives crosses your boundary. Part of your job is to identify those boundaries to him, establish them, clarify them to him in a five year-old appropriate manner, set consequences for them, and repeatedly and consistently apply those consequences when he crosses those boundaries you’ve set and violates your rules. This nurtures a healthy child and a healthy relationship with the child.
Dr. Phil says, “Parents don’t raise kids, kids raise parents.”
I can’t answer your question. I hope my answer is appropriate to where you and your son are both at.
Regards,
—The DOuGTrainer
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Who bought him the toy guns and toy knives? He has seen them on TV or in movies someone bought for video, or else someone lets him watch that kind of material on TV. Granted it’s hard to avoid all that on TV, but someone is feeding his obsession by buying him the toy weapons. If the toys slowly disappear while no one is buying more, you’ll be able to figure out if his fixation is something you need some psychological help to deal with, or an obsession that goes away if it’s not fed. In the meantime talk to everyone who is buying him these toys and ask for a temporary moratorium on them. Don’t make a big to do about getting rid of the toys all at once. Sometimes less attention helps. Just get rid of them gradually and give him more appropriate toys, like cars and trucks.
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“Only” sounds suspicious. Weapons are ways to extend power: somebody has convinced him it’s a viable method. That’s different than most kids if it’s that exclusive.
Most males are coded for aggression, destruction, and mayhem. It’s part of the preparation for hunting and fighting. Boys tend to smash things more than girls. A doctor friend of ours adopted two infant boys. She deplored violence. As such, she did everything she could to shield them from violence but still saw references to it in the children’s cartoons and other common shows. By the age of three and four, she said they’d go into the fridge, get a slice of American cheese, bite the corner out of it and use it as a gun to shoot his brother.
Getting equipment to empower themselves is what all kids do from sticks to rocks. They’re exploring their worlds and figuring out how life works. The Forest kindergartens in Europe give four year-olds Swiss Army knives and have them start fires. It’s allowed them to control themselves on a whole, other level.
When you have a five year old obsessing on weapons—particularly to the exclusion of toys—that tends to suggest a kid who’s not connected well. There is an important aspect of belonging the kid seems to be missing.
There’s too many survival markers for indicating control.
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