Last night, my boyfriend pointed a knife at me, so this morning I left our apartment to make him think about what he did to me last nig

Please listen to me. This is not some sort of ‘misbehavior’ where you can ‘teach him a lesson’ by giving him a ‘timeout.’ This man is very, very dangerous. I know that’s hard to believe, and you’re probably shaking your head, thinking, ‘no, he didn’t really mean it—-he wouldn’t really have used the knife on me. He loves me.’ But you couldn’t be more wrong.
This kind of abuse has a lifecycle. The abuse starts out with something small, as the abusive partner is testing the boundaries to see how much he can get away with. If the abuse is permitted, and the abused partner doesn’t leave the relationship, but instead, accepts the tearful apologies and the promises that it will never happen again, the abusive partner knows his abuse will be tolerated. Next time he has ‘a bad day at the office,’ and he’s in a rage—and perhaps drunk—he will test the boundaries again, pushing the envelope a bit further the next time.
The cycle continues, and the abuse will escalate each time it’s forgiven, and one day, it may not stop at just pointing the knife. It stops when the abused partner has bled out in her own home, after the abusive partner has stabbed her to death in a drunken or drug-induced fit of rage.
All of those promises ‘never to do it again,’ and all of the sobbing, the displays of remorse, the pleading, and the sudden gentleness accompanied by gifts and flowers are worthless-/and too many women have found out the hard way after giving the abusive partner one chance too many to mend his ways.
I know you’re terrified of being losing him, and that you believe you can’t live without him, even though he’s abusing you. There’s a name for this—-it’s called a ‘trauma bond.’ I want you to google it and read about how a trauma bond is created and how it keeps people in abusive relationships, long after they’ve realized they need to leave for their own protection. You may have suffered parental abuse, or seen your father abuse your mother, and watched her take him back again and again, because she couldn’t support herself and her children on her own. You may think this sort of violence happens secretly in most homes, and that the abused partners just learn to live with it. But it’s not normal. When your partner pulled the knife on you, and you were afraid for your life, as any reasonable person would be, he committed a felony offense—assault with a deadly weapon—which is punishable by up to 4 yrs in a state prison. Do you see how very serious this is?
In a study done on homicides involving a victim who was female, researchers found that roughly 46% of the victims were killed by a current or former intimate partner. Nearly 25% were killed using a knife. Men who murder their intimate partners usually do so at very close range, such as stabbing, beating, or strangling, and the attacks are far more brutal than with stranger assaults. And in a third of these cases, there were red flags along the way, signaling that the perpetrator was capable of such violence.
The key to surviving is to get out early, before the abusive partner has escalated to a level of violence even he can barely control. Please get out now, while you still can. I’m not being alarmist here. I truly believe you’ll be in serious danger, the longer you stay with this man. He will try to control you, demand that you give up your job, or get you pregnant so you’ll be financially dependent on him, and he’ll isolate you from others who might try to get you away from him, virtually making you a prisoner in your own home. Get some male siblings or friends to come help you pack when he’s not there, and just get the hell out.

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